Call Me the Clay

Hello!  Just checking in again.  It’s been a few days.  I keep having headaches lately – so by the time I get home, I’m not too interested in the computer.  I think it’s the front that finally blew in today.

First, let me tell you that I really learned a LOT at church this past weekend.  And I think EVERYONE who is in a relationship or thinking about a relationship should listen to this (see the one dated 9-19-2010).  Yes, it says it’s about sexual fulfillment – but don’t freak out or be turned away because you are already satisfied, thank you very much!  Just listen.  I would put money down that you learn a thing or two!  This is about RELATIONSHIPS not the actual act of sex.

Of course, as you know if you’ve been reading my posts – my hubby has moved out.  So, this particular sermon was not expected to speak to me much.  Boy was I wrong!  It did big time.  Not in just things that I think we could have done better in relating with each other – but other stuff too.  It was very enlightening.

Speaking of hubby – I can’t recall if I mentioned this before or not, but I had texted hubby one day a while back and asked if he would still be willing to go to marriage counseling.  After all, HE had suggested it prior to our little trip to the mountains.  And, even though we are separated doesn’t mean that we couldn’t try to work things out – right?  Well, he didn’t answer.  I let it go and didn’t request an answer.  Typically, when he doesn’t answer – it’s because the answer is ‘no’.

But, after the sermon, I really felt like I needed to try one last time with him.  So I asked again.  He clearly stated “No” this time.  So, I decided I better get my act together for real.  All this time, I kept hoping that there was some shred left.  Something that we could still hold on to and try to build from – know what I mean?

When he stated that he had no interest – it was a bit of a turning point for me and so I told him that I would let him go.  He thanked me.  He apologized for not making it work…..and assured me that this decision had nothing to do with another woman. Blah, blah, blah….

I then went to visit my attorney to see where I stood and what would need to happen to make this final.  Since hubby and I aren’t fighting over anything – it will be a simple process.  I hope.  Now, don’t get me wrong – I am not rushing out to get divorced.  I still don’t want it to happen – but I can’t make him love me either.  So I just need to be realistic.

I also have to work to get the money together….so it will be a while.

In the meantime…..I will journey on.  And LOTS of things have been taking place as far as God and me!  I will have to fill you in soon.

Take care!