Always Trying to Be in Control – Ha!
Do you ever struggle with hearing God’s gentle voice? I do. I believe it is because I am a ‘take control’ type of person and I tend to act before I think on things too much. This often means I bulldoze right on into things without checking in with God first to see if He agrees with my plans. I don’t mean to do it – I really don’t.
It seems like it is a survival mode that I somehow acquired during my lifetime – but I don’t know where the off-switch is located. I am so used to having to take care of things and make things work. I struggle with handing it all over to my Father. I know that God can handle everything much better than I can. And I want Him to do so – I truly do.
A perfect example of this would be a recent chain of events that took place concerning our plan for my son’s care after he gets out of school. I am a single parent and therefore I have to make arrangements for someone else to care for him until I get off of work. I stumbled across something that I was sure was something I was supposed to do – after all, I had been trying to get him into this program for several months. It was the eleventh-hour on the Friday before this new school year started and I was scrambling to make it all work out – there were several hurdles that I had to maneuver. Each time one would pop up, I would have an uneasy feeling about it – but I kept telling myself that this was meant to be.
Then on the first day (Monday) – I go to pick my son up. I can tell immediately that things did not go well for him. I ask him if anything is wrong and he tells me ‘no’ – and I can tell it is because he doesn’t want to talk about it in front of others. When we get to the car – I find out what took place. Now normally if my kiddo tells me how he/she doesn’t like this or that – I convince them to stick it out a bit longer and see how things go. But after all of the roadblocks that kept coming up while trying to get this all set up – it finally hits me. God was trying to tell me that this was not His plan for us – and silly me…..I wasn’t listening!
I went back to the drawing board and talked with my loved ones. As it turned out – I was able to work things out so that everyone involved benefits in some way. I have peace about my son’s care. He is happier. Others make a little extra money for their efforts. And we all get to see each other on a regular basis – which typically doesn’t happen. Of course! God’s ways are always the best!
On another note – and this is in reference to my previous post, but God is showing both my daughter and I a few things about our ‘automatic drive’ of negativity. We are both learning and growing and excitedly sharing with each other what is happening! I will write more on that some other time – but just wanted to openly thank God for His love and His grace and definite patience with those of us who are a bit slow in learning things!
Take care and I hope you are enjoying your life journey! If not, turn to God and see what He has in store for you – I can promise that you will be greatly blessed!